I should not have to wakeup this early on my birthday. I was having a lovely dream where I was a scientist giving a presentation to kids on how to use a microscope.

I just almost choked to death on a piece of chocolate. 

I am blogging from the almost ghost realm. 

"the oily inside of a potato chip bag"

Jeeezuss That was accurate.

I was offered a job at Ulta earlier (obviously earlier. they aren’t open at 1:45am). 
It’s kind of tempting but the drive wouldn’t make it worth it. I was surprised she offered it to me. I looked too much like the oily inside of a potato chip bag to get offered a job in a cosmetics store, but I just said the words “flat top brush” and she asked me if I wanted a job. 

I do love my flat top brushes though. 

tehjeff replied to your post “Oh yeah. It’s my birthday. ”

Happy birthday, don’t cry in public.

What am I supposed to do with myself then?

#tehjeff  

spacedbitch:

hahahahahah

(via hallekiefer)

Oh yeah. It’s my birthday. 

Fight Club (1999).

(via cuzyourethebest)

(via thunderwingdoomslayer)

(via knifeandpear)

astralangels:

shocking update from updated satellite images reveal missouri does, in fact, not exist

i fucking knew it

(via jeormormont)

#true  
Title: I Can't Go For That (No Can Do) Artist: Hall & Oates 6,359 plays

peacockbluey:

pumpsinabump:

damnyounick:

littleblackmaps:

this shit right here

No can do! No no no-no no no-no no no-no no can doooooo!

image

(via thunderwingdoomslayer)

“They say the family of the twenty-first century is made up of friends and not relatives. Then again, maybe that’s just bollocks.”

(via thunderwingdoomslayer)

jill-bird:

You see Spongebob,
It’s a metaphor. You put the killing thing right between your teeth, but never give it the power to kill you.

(via yourlocalgryffindorian)